Effective and Proven Tips to Handle Life When You’ve Been Thrown a Curve-Ball

You know how it goes. Life is flowing along smoothly, maybe even better than it ever was, and suddenly BAM! You get thrown an expected curve-ball that you never saw coming. Completely blindsiding you.

It happens to all of us.

We never anticipated it. Never expected it. Definitely never wanted it! But came, it did!

So, what do you do?

At first, a ton of emotions hit you: shock, anger, fear, hurt, more anger, sadness, loneliness, overwhelmed, regret, resentment, disappointment, rage, vulnerability, jealousy, maybe even the desire for revenge.

These are all normal emotions! Emotions you don’t necessarily have to act upon (and most of them you shouldn’t). But you have to recognize these emotions are valid, and acknowledge them as needed at this moment of utter shock to your world.

The curve ball you experienced might have been the death of a friend or loved one, the ending of a job, the betrayal of a friend or a lover, the ending of a friendship or an intimate relationship, an unexpected health diagnosis, or a sudden move to a new area you didn’t want.

Regardless of what the unexpected, unplanned, unwanted situation is, you now must face it, and face it head on!

This brings us to the Healing Process.

The most critical thing to keep in the forefront of your mind is, HEALING TAKES TIME and HEALING IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERYBODY! No two people have the same ‘recipe’ to get through the healing process. Healing is unique to each of us. But what is the same is that HEALING MUST TAKE PLACE in order to go on as an emotionally and physically healthy individual.

So, as you begin your healing journey keep in mind that some days, or even just for some moments, you will feel stronger than at other times. The key is not to be hard on yourself, allow the feelings, accept the feelings, then process the feelings in a positive way.

Some days you will feel especially strong and feel like you’re coming out of the dark tunnel, but then, maybe at night in bed, the emotions will pop up, creep up, explode back into your mind and heart and you’ll feel overwhelmed and consumed again with grief, remorse, sadness or anger.

Maybe they’ll emerge when you walk by a restaurant you frequented and enjoyed with the person you lost.

Or perhaps a movie pops up on your Netflix feed that was a special one you shared together.

These are all very normal feelings to have!

And, these will happen!

So, brace yourself and don’t be thrown off track. It is all part of the healing journey.

The process of healing is a painful one and it hurts. But, be true to yourself and work constantly towards your healing journey.

Be your own cheerleader and your own best friend, after all, at the end of the day, we only have ourselves to count on.

There is light at the end of the tunnel!

And the good news is, that many times that light, while it might be a different shade, you’ll find it is better than what you lost!

Perhaps the light you had always perceived as the ‘perfect light’ was only that because you didn’t know there was another shade that is even better for you.

Again, keep in mind – healing takes time!

You will have moments that you feel strong, and you will have moments that you feel weak and vulnerable. But, you absolutely must proactively work on yourself and on your personal healing. Commit to doing things that bring you happiness and joy. This is a time to start focusing on the horizon, what is new and all the good things that are possible.

Keep in mind that in life, change will happen and some changes will be more challenging than others. The key is to accept the new change in your life, because you don’t have any other alternative.

There are really only two things any of us have total control over in our lives: Our Attitude and Our Effort. If we can remain positive, we win!

Keep an open mind!

Treat yourself!

Believe in yourself!

Build new routines!

Do one new thing every day to ignite your life!

Practice gratitude for the good things you do have in your life, because there are a lot of good things, if you will only reflect on them.

And always, always remember to Breath!

This new chapter in your life holds opportunities for growth and personal development. A chance to learn new things and meet new people.

It might be hard to believe, but time will heal and what you’re going through now will pass.

A few self mantras to say are:

“This too shall pass.”

“This will not last forever.”

“New things are on the horizon for me.”

“I am strong enough to get through this.”

“I WILL get through this.”

Some things you can do to help you get through the healing process are:

• Take care of yourself. Self-care is a great way of taking the power back in your life, and you’ll feel better for it.
  • Take a warm bath with essential oils and tons of bubbles
  • Do a face mask
  • Have your nails done
  • Deep condition your hair

• Start a new hobby

• Make some new goals

• Make a gratitude journal and write in it at the start of every day and at the end of every day.

• Organize areas of your home, such as that junk drawer you’ve been meaning to get to, your closet, your make-up drawer. It is a known fact that when your space is cluttered, your mind is cluttered.

• Join a gym

• Read self-development & self-improvement books (We list some of our favorites at the end of this post.)

• Journal to yourself. Do a brain-dump. Don’t worry, this is for your eyes only. Just the physical act of getting your thoughts down helps to renew your mind for healthier thoughts to come in. We can’t keep them all bottled up inside.

• Go for walks in nature by yourself

• Explore new things you’ve always wanted to do

• Go shopping and treat yourself to a few new items

• Go to a museum

• Go to a restaurant by yourself

• Enjoy your own company – develop a relationship with yourself – enjoy your own company

• Turn on positive music and dance and sing out loud to your heart’s content. Don’t worry, no one else will see you. Just dance!

• Surround yourself with positive people who have good vibes. Remove negative people from your circle while you’re healing. They will only bring you down.

Some things to avoid are:

• Negative people, as they will only fuel any negative thoughts you’re working to eliminate and pull you down

• Don’t compare yourself to others. Remember: everyone has their issues they’re dealing with, you just don’t know what they are, but they’re there

• Drinking more alcohol than you normally would

• Taking drugs, unless prescribed by your doctor

• Don’t sleep too much longer than you normally do

• Don’t believe everything you think. Your mind is in a vulnerable state. The greatest obstacle to your healing is to believe in the negative thoughts that creep in.

• Avoid the news, since so much of it is negative, it will only bring you down further

• Don’t feel guilty about how you feel. Your feelings are valid as you’re healing

• Don’t lose hope!

Remember that all change, even good change, can be difficult and challenging. Don’t be hard on yourself. Give yourself a break.

We hope these tips will help you as you go through this hard time. Remember, you’re not alone. There’s no one alive who hasn’t gone through something that rocked their world off course. The key is to remember it will pass, even though it feels hopeless right now.

Don’t give up on yourself. Believe in yourself.

Only you can get through this. Take baby steps every day. Treat yourself everyday. Be mindful of when your mind wanders to the dark side. You can control this. Turn the mental channel in your mind. Fight and resist those thoughts. It takes practice, but it can be done.

Think of things that bring you happiness and force those thoughts in and push the negative thoughts out.

Recommended Blogs to Help You Get Through this Hard Time in Your Life

Lovely Refinement is an excellent blog site that is all about helping you build your self-confidence, overcome anxiety, and relieve stress from your life. It is packed full of resources, happiness & confidence tips, free mindfulness activities, and much more! Be sure to check them out and sign up for their newsletter.

Another awesome blog site is Planning Mindfully. This site is for you if “You’re ready to take charge and love your life again.” It has an excellent section on Bullet Journaling, Personal Development, Time Management, and Mental Health. Be sure to sign up for their newsletter as well.